First off I’m typing this on my excessively hot laptop because for some reason it stayed on all night with the lid down instead of going on standby, and I’m not sure if this post is worth burnt fingers.

Last night I had a dream about my grandpa, who passed away last November, and my grandma.  My grandpa was fishing and I joined him and bet him I could catch the bigger fish, and for some reason I started using my grandma’s dinner plates as spinner bait and lost a ton of them and she was pretty mad.

Well that reminded me of their house they used to have and it had trails and a gully behind it and a spring and just tons of neat stuff.  It’s now closed off to the public because a water park sprung up next door (which used to be a giant gravel pit.  Funny how things change eh? 

It also reminded me of my cousin Karly (wipingupsnot.com) trying to ride my grandma’s huge old school bike and falling on her face.   Every life has a highlight!

This gave me the idea since my current life is relatively boring and I am having less and less of an opportunity to post, I think I will start posting some of my childhood memories (since the only people according to my traffic report that read my blog are either family or korean anyway)  Who is that Korean person that is so interested in me anyway??

* Warning to Mommy bloggers this is actually about a child

Today I was watching my nephew (my girlfriend’s nephew, but due to how much he loves me so much - he told me this - he is now considered my nephew.. don’t argue just accept it) and he was laying in bed with me at 2 in the afternoon and having a discussion with me which not even a linguist could decipher and the only word I could really understand was “Mommy” and I said “Oh yeah .. Mommy.. do you miss your Mommy” and he looked at me and suddenly his face got sad and he started crying uncontrollably.  I had officialy established that he did in fact miss his Mommy.  Problem being, his Mommy wasn’t at home, nor did I want to take him home, so I asked him if he wanted to play with his toys.  He suddenly stopped crying and smiled and I gave him his toys. 

Next time you mommy bloggers wonder what you’re worth, it’s a bag full of toys.

Addition: Shortly after finishing this I realized I actually gave him the plastic sack the toys were in and he was playing with it (don’t worry I took it away) but ain’t I a good uncle?  Good thing he didn’t feel like playing the “plastic hat game”

In 2004 UPS announced that they would save fuel by minimizing left turns. Because drivers are idle at intersections while waiting to make left turns, UPS developed software that routes the day’s packages with preference to right turns.  No wonder I never get my packages when they’re shipped UPS, the driver is driving in a circle!

Here’s the call of the week for you guys:

Me: Thanks you for calling this is David what product are you calling in regards to (I say this because we get so many people calling in about products we don’t support, even though the prompting system clearly states we only handle certain products)

Customer: I have a TV

Me: Unfortunately we don’t support TVs in this department those representatives get in in about 3 hours

Customer:  Eastern Standard Time?

Me: Uh well it’s 3 hours no matter where you are

Customer: Oh yeah uh yeah um yeah no matter where I am haha *click*

Dee-dee-dee

I’ve always managed to keep a pretty easy going attitude when it comes to people’s eccentricities, but I’ve noticed as I’ve gotten older everything everyone does pretty much torks me off.  From the lady next door whose cigarette butts end up in my yard (and apparently now dog shits in it too), to the slower than me driver (27 years old, never had a ticket - because I never speed unless it’s an emergency - who the fuck drives SLOWER than the SPEED LIMIT?) to the stuck up person at work that I can’t even stand to be in the same room with.  I let all this stuff slide because, well, it’s just not all that serious.  But what is it today with people thinking it’s a necessity to be rude?  It seems like everywhere I go everyone is rude.  I’m a please and thank you type of person, even if it’s at McDonalds I think the person for taking the time to press the picture of the cheeseburger so that I may nourish myself.  But it seems like everyone else lives an opposite philosophy.  Nobody REALLY cares about anyone else’s feelings, but when someone else is rude to them, all the sudden it’s apalling.

Today I was browing Amazon and I came across this deal of the century.  I too am a bargain hunter!

Well here’s part 3 of my stupid people complaints, and it doesn’t even have anything to do with my work! (I know you’re shocked right).  Tonight I went to McDonalds and the guy in front of me was screaming at the top of his lungs and this is how the order went:

Customer: All I need is a McChicken with ketchup only

Worker: Ok will that be all for you today (despite him saying “all he needs” but of course, he needs something else.

Customer: Yes I would like fries and A DRINK

Worker: Fries and what?

Customer: A drink

Worker: Excuse me?

Customer: A soda!!

Worker: WHAT KIND OF SODA?!

Customer: C… Coke!

JESUS!

I am shocked and amazed at some of the things people do. Today I had a lady call and her cable service had been suspended and she called in to make payment by check. I advised her that because we don’t recieve the funds immediately by check, it would take 2-3 business days before her service would even be turned back on. She said that she will have to pay by check anyway, so I went into her account and she had checks blocked due to an NSF back in November. She then retorted that she shouldn’t be held responsible for something she did WAY back in November and it was just ONE NSF. I was amazed at this stupidity. I couldn’t even imagine writing a check without the funds in the bank, unless I was going to lose my testicles or something serious.. but cable? Nah. If I didn’t have the money, I’d cancel my cable. Easy, right? No she’d rather push herself into debt over network television. I would absolutely go crazy if I knew I had a check out there and not the funds. Then she said well let me use my debit card then, and I tried to process it: Declined. So I immediately advised her that she was JUST telling me she only wrote ONE bounced check back in NOVEMBER but she just tried to process another one without the funds in there, being that her debit was declined, and she promptly hung up.

I desperately need a new job.

I recently adopted my new cat, Anthony, from TAPS, a no-kill animal shelter (see New Camera, poor guy was adopted around the same time I got a new camera so he has to share the affection) and I also bought his litter box there, it was just a typical litter box and let me tell you they’re not practical at all.  My girlfriend and I went to the local pet store and I saw this Omega Paw brand litter box and decided to buy it.  All you do is tilt in one way and tilt it back, and by the magical powers encased within the dook drops right into a little tray and you just empty the tray.  This is probably the most brilliant invention ever.  You see, when it comes to changing diapers on kids or scooping around in a cats doodoo, I just have a really hard time.  My gag reflexes start working overtime and pretty soon I have vomit to clean up AND dooky to clean, and it’s not pretty.

It reminds me of the time I stepped in my cousin’s cat, Cinder’s crap in their basement barefoot.  I could feel the gag reflex coming on, and I panicked.  My uncle shouted don’t move, don’t move, DON’T MOVE.. but of course I moved, so not only was their a trail of cat crap halfway between the bottom of the basement stairs and the upstairs bathroom, but there was also a giant pile of fat kid vomit on the floor.  He had fun cleaning it up I’m sure >:)

Being that I take phone calls from 9pm at night to 7 in the morning, I’m of course going to end up talking to some burnt up drugged out smackheads occasionally, but the scary thing is that 90% of the people I talk to are just dumb.  But there is one thing that the majority of people do that drives me absolutely insane, and it’s this:

Most of the time when I resolve a person’s problem (especially when it’s something stupid like not hitting the right function button on their TV remote) they will just sit there.  They won’t say “Thanks!” and hang up, or “You’re the smartest person in the world!” and hang up, they just sit there in complete silence.  I’ve actually tested people that sit in silence and they will literally sit there for 2 minutes straight and not say a word.  I ALWAYS have to say the magic words “Is there anything else that I can help you with tonight?” and then they’ll say “Nope!” and hang up (thank god).   But that’s not even what drives me nuts. It’s when they respond “NOPE!” and then I’ll say my required closing line “Okay then thanks for calling!” and then they ASK ANOTHER QUESTION.  If you respond “Nope!” to “Is there anything else I can help you with?” that automatically disqualifies you from another question.  Goodbye.

Addition: Folks, if you call a company and they say that they’re not trained on something you need help with, or you’ve reached the wrong department and that departments closed, don’t argue with them!  You’re wasting valuable breath and while the plants probably love you for it, if someone isn’t trained on something, you probably know more about it than they do being that you’re right in front of whatever piece of junk you bought, so stop it!  And if your piece of junk is on fire, unplug it and call the fire department, we can’t do anything for you over the phone!